Home » Life » Veggies with a Side of Fail!

Veggies with a Side of Fail!

I realize that when I was a vegetarian 3 years ago, I was the most physically fit I’ve ever been in my life. I felt really good and I dropped a lot of unnecessary body fat. I know I want to transition back into it, and that is an uphill battle.

*sigh* Dammit!

Here’s why:

1) I.love.meat. It’s just so juicy and delicious. You can make burgers, you can fry it up, bake it, broil it, grill it, sautee it, everything! For goodness’ sake, it creates its own gravy if you cook it right! What’s not to love?

Mmmm…look at that…tender, juicy, sizzling murder…


Hormones and antibiotics, and high cholesterol, genetically modified monstrosities, and animal slaughter.

Knowing all of this, however, is no match for the power of my habit for tender, delicious morsels of living creatures. Vegetables have flavor, but nowhere near the amount that meat does. Let’s be honest, unless you prepare it right, some veggies can be downright gross. I know I have to ween myself. That will power is around here somewhere. It’s just going to take a while to find it.

Now, where did I leave that will power?

2) What the hell do I make? How? Where do I get these ingredients from? I like getting recipes online and from books for cooking vegetarian food, but sometimes, they make you go all around the world for ingredients. Sounds fun and adventurous, but not when you have to cook dinner in less than an hour and have 20 minutes to grab the ingredients. I’m trying to remember my eating habits as a vegetarian. I would buy a lot of rice and pasta, and would make stir-fry or use textured soy products for protein. It worked out okay then, but that’s when I was just cooking for me and had more time. I am now cooking for a steak-eating spouse with less time in a day. I could plan a menu with him, but that never works out. *grumble*stupid-work-schedules*grumble*

3) Another downside to being vegetarian is that, unfortunately, not a lot of places know how to cook it properly and aren’t always vegetarian friendly. Although vegetarian food can be delicious and filling, it’s much harder to find delicious vegetarian food than it is to find a delicious cheeseburger. Then there’s always that struggle of looking at the menu, trying to see if you can order any of the dishes without meat. You end up getting clever and crafting a meal out of their menu of sides. (Ta-Da!) Being vegetarian limits my happy time as a foodie. It cuts out all of the potential visits to Brazilian steakhouses and new restaurants in the city that I want to try. No fun at all!

Garbage, garbage! NONE of this tastes like chicken! *HUMPH!*

4) People treat you like you’re crazy for not eating meat. Now, I’m not one to let a little opinion deter me, but I do get sick of the nonsense. I remember people acting as if vegetarians were declaring war on their very ability to eat meat. It’s not fun having to constantly educate people on the fact that you can get more protein from legumes and nuts than from meat, or that you would get more energy from fruits and vegetables because they’re a primary energy source.

I am in NO MOOD!

I am in NO MOOD!

5) I’m afraid I’ll lose too much weight. Now, here’s where my vanity kicks in. Although I was happy with my body while I was vegetarian, no one else seemed to be. Most of my family thought I was sick or something, and I was interrogated regularly on the whereabouts of my ass. But I felt good and looked good. Sure, that should be all that matters, and I know that my family would love me either way, but I actually like how I look now. I love my curves. With all the squats and lunges I was doing back then, I still couldn’t develop my shape to look the way that it does now.

6) I’ve failed before, I can fail again. See, I was vegetarian for one successful year. That fateful Thanksgiving when I was asked to help make my famous glaze for the country ham, all I was supposed to do was taste the glaze. It went from tasting the glaze, to tasting the glaze with a sliver of ham, to a couple of helpings. Next thing you know, it’s Christmas and I’ve been eating meat for a month. You know, because the holidays are just so tempting and so close together. Ugh! Failure!

I was doing so good…

I know I can do this. I’ve done it before. I’ll figure it out, I guess.


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