Ever since I publicly announced my engagement last year, I am often asked how the wedding planning is going. Well…it’s not.
I understand the curiosity. I really do get it. People are excited for me, and I’m thankful. Hell, I’m excited too. We would get married tomorrow if we could, but we want to do it right.
Unfortunately, I have not found a single dress, picked a single theme or color scheme, and there is still no date. This will be the reality for at least another year or more.
1) Neither of us have the focus for it. The last couple of years have been extremely overwhelming for me and my fiancé. We’ve changed jobs, dealt with illness and personal losses, and moved into a new apartment, all while trying to deal with other life stresses. We’re basically starting life from scratch and mapping out our futures. We’re ambitious and have more business plans than wedding plans. I just can’t get excited about a wedding with all that’s going on and has gone on. It’ll happen when we can give it the right attention.
2) We just don’t have the time. Time?! What time?! Who said time?! Where?! We’re barely managing the little time we have now. Planning a wedding takes lots of time and attention to detail. We don’t want to rush it. We would rather take our time and plan it out without the extra pressures.
3) Weddings are expensive! I refuse to put a down payment for a house toward a wedding. It just wouldn’t make sense right now. I consider a wedding a big celebration of a new chapter in life. I would like to enter this chapter financially anchored. I don’t want to have to think twice about wedding expenses, and I want to be debt-free after the fact.
See, I don’t plan on having a mediocre wedding. I want quality. I want people to come and eat good food, dance to good music, and walk away with some priceless memories. This doesn’t have to be expensive, but for quality and for the size of the event, we know it won’t be cheap. By the way…
4) Do you know how much family we have?! A ton! Between the two of us, we have huge families. We have to narrow that list down, but it would still be a huge list. That’s a big wedding. That’s a lot of planning. That’s a lot of money. I want it to be special. We’re still trying to work that whole “Who’s invited” part.
We’re working on it folks. At some point, you’ll get an invite for a kick-ass wedding party, it will be epic, and you will be talking about it for years to come.